Are you feeding your roots?

What keeps a marriage going?

Anything…Everything…and Nothing.

Case in point is a couple very well known to me. Married in 1945 at the tender age of nineteen, their 74th wedding anniversary just passed in January 2020.

What kept them married for more than seven decades? What sustained them throughout 74 years of personal, political, cultural, social and economic transitions and events? Was it a shared interest in reading? Was it the children? Was it an intimate understanding of each others foibles, fears and dreams? Was it because of social norms and expectations to not get divorced? Was it for Love?

Honestly, when you decide to live with someone and share your life, day and night and everything in between, there are a plethora of factors and influencers that bombard the relationship 24/7.

Coincidently, in my yoga practice we are at the beginning of our study of the seven chakra’s. For many people who decide to get married one would think that the ruling chakra for them would be the fourth chakra of the heart. Though love has everything to do with finding that special person, it is the first two chakras that germinate deep within our DNA far sooner than when we feel the pangs of infatuation and the blossoming of love.

The first chakra represents stability and rooting into the earth. There is a primal sense of being a part of a community. The second chakra deals with sexuality and creativity. The element most closely associated with the 2d chakra is water. As we all know, water has no shape of its own but takes its form from the vessel by which it is contained or in the shape and form determined by heat and cold.

While love resides in one’s heart and is a constant presence the feelings of creativity and sexuality are fluid and ebb and flow. When there is a traumatic event…a hemmohraging at the second chakra or an attack on one’s foundation at the first chakra, the support and sustenance of love evaporates. It is not the absence of love that is so devastating in the face of divorce, rather it is the loss of one’s own roots.

A majority of healthy marriages endure because each partner has roots that are strong and run deep. A firm, sound and robust footing secures the couple in a foundation that epitomizes love’s symbiotic dynamic. When the roots of either couple begin to recede and become mere vestiges of a life that is in retreat, that is the time that divorce swoops in and takes over.

During the mediation process, without stability and sanity, it often appears to couple’s that they are going nowhere…anywhere and everywhere except where they really want to be. As Divorce Mediators we view our role in the divorce mediation journey in many different ways depending upon how each couple presents in session. However, our truest quest is to nourish each clients root system. Our tending to your roots, like a Master Gardener, is meant to revitalize your root system…to reinvigorate your appetite for your own life…to stabilize your foundation and rekindle your creativity.

It is a tall order and not without disappointment, discouragement, despair and depression. But, like an angel, a drop of water can stimulate a lifetime river of nourishment.

Whether you are married, single, in a relationship, widowed or divorced, one thing is for certain: Without a healthy and fertile root system, you will remain shallow and a target to be pushed over.

For the sake of your life, when the time is right, come to us, Mediate for Life.