Past...Present...Future

Past…Present…Future.

Many people who enter Divorce Mediation have heir feet solidly encased in the Past.

Their entire perspective is ensconced in the happenings of years of marital strife and discontent.

When the divorce mediation session begins, the optics through which the parties view the proceedings is warped and strained and imbued with resentment, mistrust and vitriol.

From a mediators perspective, what is even a more compelling conflict in the journey to reach an agreement between the couple is the fact that quite often, neither has the capacity to visualize the Future.

The issues of birthday parties, college, children getting married, the future sale of real estate holdings, the filing of FAFSA applications, the purchase of a child’s first car, the Prom, college graduation, Last Will and Testatment, Living Will, etc are unfathomable as the divorce mediation sessions proceed.

Many couples are not even able to remain in the Present for more than a few minutes at a time while they are seated beside their spouse or significant other.

However, it is the present that will set you free.

It is the present that is the only thing that a divorcing spouse may have any real sense of control over. The ability to drive pleasure and security out of life starts with the acceptance of one’s place in the universe.

In the practice of yoga, the sure fire way of establishing your presence , here and now, is to become cognizant of your breath.

The sheer act of taking a breath into your lungs and then breathing it out, places you in direct contact with who you are…where you are and how you feel. All within the confines of your mat.

There are many decisions to be made through the divorce mediation process, not the least of which is to decide how you will participate in your divorce mediation.

Such a journey can not be begun in ernest without a clear, vibrant and sober acknowledgement of who you are and what you stand for.

There may very well be cobwebs and foggy memories standing in your way. There may be mental and emotional obstacles blocking your passage. There may be resistance from all sides causing you to lock up and seizing your ability to move forward in your truth.

And yet, the act of taking a breath can be as powerful and instrumental as if Thor’s hammer were to strike the dark and bleak silence and the light of Apollo were to fixate only on you to guide yo to your brighter future.

All of this can emanate from the present.

All you need in order to open the door to your present is the key…take a breath and repeat.