DIVORCE IN A TIME OF COVID-19...SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF.

The past 14 months have been traumatic for just about everyone. A year of living within six degrees of separation from friends, family and co-workers who have lost employment; fallen sick; suffered the death of a loved one; fallen into despair because of a failed relationship or despondent because they can’t find a soul mate. We have all felt lost and rudderless in the sea of the Covid-19 Pandemic.

An interesting development this past year was the pendulum of couples who had been contemplating divorce as it swung away from dissolution and instead, settled in to an uneasy yet comforting landing upon the marital landscape of co-habitation.

This development was an immediate response to medical and financial imperatives that pressed the couple for their survival and that of their family.

As the weeks turned into months and then seasons, husbands and wives began to know there respective spouse through a new, enlightening and transparent lens.

The Covid-19 pandemic has prompted a nation wide introspection for married couples on the precipice of receiving a Judgment of Divorce. Prior to Covid-19, a spouse who would recognize that they were unhappy, unsatisfied, disillusioned and in need of getting out of the marriage, would take the posture of battle and the drum beat was hyper focused on the enemy.

The year 2020 found people reconnecting with much more than merely their home bound spouse.

The mantra that has arisen for 2021 is show up for yourself.

The preconceived perception of divorcing couples was that the act of getting a divorce was more like a theatrical production. This belief lead divorcing spouses to believe that there was a set of regular characters, dialogue, story lines and predetermined outcomes in a divorce.

Slowly, like a fine wine….or perhaps slower like a green stem peeking up thru a seed nestled in the soil of a pandemic DIY home grown green house, people have reconnected and reintroduced their inner self to the outer manifestation of their truest self. That which had motivated and driven couples pre covid seemed to shift to a more open minded, global thought process.

Restaurants closed. Gyms closed. Theaters closed. Yoga studios closed. But people began to cook more at home. Home gyms became the rage. Zoom and Netflix became the life blood of the moment. And Yogi’s found their mat and their prana in their living room during a live stream.

It was a perfect gathering of the constellations…a mystical draw from the “signs” card drawn from the mystical card deck.

When one started to step upon their mat, they showed up for themselves. It was their practice and not an exhaustively manipulated production number. They were committed to revealing their authentic self.

In the Divorce Mediation session, participants can valiantly try to manipulate and disrupt the process but such actions are always recognized and dismissed as unsubstantiated. Today, the normal discussions targeting Access Plans; Child Support; distribution and mapping of Retirement plans and the terms and parameters of Maintenance appear to have been elevated to a higher consciousness.To be sure, there still remains consternation and disappointment in the mediation journey. However, the two divorcing participants seem to exude a more mature, enlightened appreciation of the other in attempting to arrive at a fair, just and sustainable Agreement.

Is this a blip on the screen? Is this a mirage on the desert of the covid landscape? We shall wait and see.

No matter what, please stay safe and make smart choices and if you need to talk, we are here for you.